Family Lies

Today was a good day to start with, I woke up OK I managed to get a little
more sleep last night although it could be better. Marks snoring and tossing
and turning don't help as he's not sleeping well either, but also the green
tea I am drinking is also causing me to go to the toilet several times in
the night (this is one of the good properties as it clears out your body)
but not at 4am unfortunately it comes from China, so it obviously runs on a
different time zone.

After I had done my work for the office we went out to buy some essentials,
it's a normal week now so the house has to go on and I have a mountain of
washing to do and no washing powder to do it with. So off to Makro we went.
Anyway long story short we ended up buying the most random basket of stuff
and a new mattress, which was a much needed purchase.

Anyway if your following my blog you will know we were looking for a pocket
sprung memory foam topped non roll together mattress, we have actually ended
up with a full memory foam mattress, and it's now got pride of place on our
bed.

Now this will only apply to anyone that has ever bought a full memory foam
mattress but they come in small boxes and don't look like they will ever fit
your bed, the box does also say that once opened they cannot be repackaged,
you see why when you open the plastic on the thin ring of foam in the box,
the thing just grows and grows and before you know it, something the size of
a small padded blanket turns into a full mattress.

Will give a verdict on how it sleeps tomorrow, but have had a lay down on it
and it all feels ok.

This evening I got a phone call from mu mum to say there was a problem, this
didn't sound too good and I steadied myself for the next bit of the
conversation. My mum had said that my granny had found out that I had
Cancer. We haven't told my granny any of my medical treatment other than the
fact that I had an operation on my head because I was having migraines, and
I showed her the scar that was left, but never mentioned anything about
cancer. At 87 we felt as a family it would be too much of a shock for her to
handle so we played down that side and simply said I was under treatment for
the operation. Anyway after yesterdays visit and her seeing me with a bald
head she has put 2 and 2 together and rightly got 4.

Sadly she has already lost one son Stephen (who died in the October 1978 and
I was born in the April of 1979, I was then looked after by my granny from
an early age so I have always had a special bond as she has been my second
mother) she also lost a daughter on NYE last year, both people died of
cancer so especially this week it's going to be playing on her mind. The one
bad thing is, she has only ever seen the negative side effects of cancer and
its treatment, for example my Uncle Stephen had Chemo but intravenously and
obviously on a stronger dose and it made him very ill and lost all his hair
as it can do, this my gran saw and is now transferring that image to me.

Anyway, Mark and my mum went to see my gran this evening to explain the
whole story, and both Mark and myself were adamant that she should now know
the full story other than the final prognosis, as ultimately that's not nice
for anyone to know and I don't intend to fit within those statistics
either..

My granny now feels so much better that she actually knows the full story
and that she is not left in the dark about me. I will call her in the
morning and see how she is and hopefully she will have had a better night's
sleep. When I start my Chemo again next week I will ensure that I go and
show her the chemo tablets that I am on so that she can see that it doesn't
make me ill like it did my Uncle Stephen and that I can carry on as normal,
at least then it's one less thing for her to worry about, which makes me
feel better too.

The one thing I have learned out of all this is I can't protect other people
around me all of the time, and that something this small has upset quite a
few people and given me more stress than I need, so going forward if there
is something to be said about my illness or anything in general it's going
to get said, if it upsets a couple of people then that's the way its going
to be. I wouldn't intentionally upset people by my actions or comments, but
I can't handle the added stress that the backlash can cause

As for the rest f the family, its also going to be a lot easier for them, as
everyone knows the same story and nobody has to mind what they are saying in
front of Granny, at least if someone asks a question, the correct answer can
be given and not worry who overhears it.

Anyway am going to go and try out the new mattress as I'm really tired.

Until New Years Eve

Steve

I think we need to go shopping

Today has been a bit of a casual day and more normal than its been for a
while.

Michelle and Dave went home this morning, Lawrence was already in work, and
the house appears to be back to normal (although the cats are still paranoid
that there is a dog somewhere....)

We went upto Oldham today to see if the sales there were any better, but
they weren't, so we just picked up my Granny and brought her back to the
house so that she could see the decorations and have dinner.

Was nice to have her around even though she's a little scatty at times if
you listen for long enough you get the idea, she's actually the most clued
up senile person I know. We shouldn't laugh but she does do some of it for
effect and attention.

One thing we do need to look at though in the sales is a new mattress I
think. Neither of us are sleeping as good as we should, so tomorrow I think
we will be off to the bed centre and look at a pocket sprung, memory foam
anti roll together moisture resistant hypoallergenic chiropractic
orthopaedic mattress, or something along those lines anyway, I have
absolutely no idea about buying a mattress I just go and lay down on one, if
it's comfortable that's the one I buy, but Mark has other ideas.

Health wise today the headaches are still staying at bay and am only on one
steroid a day so that's good, I'm going to try and reduce this further next
week as I know I need to come off them sooner rather than later.

My alternative medication routine is still going well and am taking a whole
host of immune-boosting drugs that appear to be helping me, even Mark is
taking a multi vitamin every day to stay healthy. It all appears to be
working as people around me are getting the sniffles and are feeling under
the weather and I appear to be OK.

Anyway am off to bed now so will sign off.

Night all

Steve x

Normality has started to return

Well today has been slightly back to normal again. Although Michelle and
Dave are still here, it's not like it's been a special occasion (that sounds
horrible, but I just mean it's been normal)

Me and Mark popped out to a retail park this afternoon to whiteness the non
sales, you know it's bad when the pound shop has a half price sale!!!

We did buy a couple of things, but nothing that were in the sale and stuff
that we wanted anyway so just part of our normal shopping rounds.

On a health note, I'm actually doing OL, I have now managed to come down on
my steroids from 4mg to 2mg and have been ok for the last few days so am
going to go down to 1mg in the next few days and see if I can come off them
completely in the next couple of weeks. The aching has subsided a little
more and I only notice it now when I do to much, which is something I'm
learning to see the signs of.

Am off to bed shortly otherwise I will end up on eBay again and buying
allsorts.... now that's somewhere I can easily get lost for a couple of
hours - luckily tonight Mark has occupied me with sticking diamante to a new
throw for our bed, they are champagne crystals in a border design so will
add a picture when I have done.

One thing that someone has pointed out to me is that the other day I posted
a link to the Infi-Kint website for Macmillan and that I had added the
Macmillan website not the infi-knit links, so here it is

http://www.infi-knit.org.uk/

Its an online petition but it's in a novelty form of a scarf, and it will be
knitted in front of you via their two online webcams. Go check it out, it's
for a good cause and only takes seconds.

Anyway am off, have another long day tomorrow, will be going to Oldham to
have a scout round there and then pick up Granny and bring her back to our
house so that she can have dinner with us and then mum will take her home
tomorrow evening.

Till tomorrow

Steve

Sales....

Well today has been another day of food and shopping, so it must still be
Christmas.

We wanted to pop the Trafford Centre, this was the biggest mistake of the
day as everyone else in Manchester decided to do the same thing.

I have actually felt a lot better today and the aching I have been suffering
from has subsided a little. I'm still plodding on though and moving round
does actually help so just popping to the sales is good for me, but my head
just isn't into it (this would be the same no matter what health I was in,
as I just hate gormless people that walk around shopping centres with not a
care in the world)

The sales are not that good anyway so you're not missing anything if you
haven't been yet.

Tomorrow is going to be a relating day as we have nothing at all planned,
then my mum is down in the evening so back to a normal week more or less.

Anyway am going to sign off as its late and I need to go o bed, although I
must admit for having an hour's nap this afternoon whilst watching the TV
(Mark did the same)

Steve

Fatty

Well the end of Boxing Day is upon us, and am feeling FAT

I cant believe how much food we have managed to consume in the last 48
hours, and there is still mountains of the stuff in the kitchen.

Today we have joined the rest of the world am sure and popped out to the
sales. Now why is it that jumper/pair of shoes/new food blender or whatever
it is that wasn't appealing to you three days ago, is now something you HAVE
to have and will go hell for leather to get it.

Needless to say we did purchase something, but it was something we actually
wanted so all worth it.

The big downside to today is the fact I have been really tired, I know we
had a late night last night but I have been tired, and I had a couple of
hours in bed this afternoon but the achiness is still there.

Tomorrow I'm back to work (from home) it won't take me that long to do my
report, but its my routine of normality so something that has to be done.

I also have an order to process for the shop too, which arrived on Xmas
morning, so the post office is open tomorrow so that will be going out
tomorrow too.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Home.aspx this is my little ask for today, that
you complete the Infi-knit petition for Macmillan they are presenting the
petition to the government in the form of a knitted scarf, which will be
knitted with your words (its changed to graphics) on screen for you and
knitted into their scarf live on screen.

It takes seconds to do, and is for a worthwhile cause, and I don't ask
people often to help out.

Anyway am off to bed another day tomorrow and am sure we will be popping to
the sales so need all my strength for that.

Steve

Christmas Day

Well it's been a lovely day, it's been a long day but lovely.

The day started at around 9.30am when I got up.... some people had been up
since 7am but the rest of the family decided to stay in bed....

When we had all assembled in the lounge - all six of us (mums and dads and
me and Mark) we started the mammoth operation that was present opening. I'm
sure there will be photographs posted in the next few days of the mountain
that was our presents but until then you're just going to have to believe me
that It was huge.

I had no idea of any of the presents that I had received this year, which
was really nice as it was a genuine surprise and a bit like being a kid
again....

It was nice to spend quality time with my parents as its not something I get
to do often, and having them in my own home and seeing them relaxed helped
the situation. Seeing both families together also made it a nice day. The
nice thing about today is, my dad was completely relaxed and had a nice
time. There is no issue of me and Mark from my dad like there was a couple
of years ago, but today really proved that he has no issues, he even managed
to get a couple of cheeky banters in with Lawrence and Mark.

After we had opened all our presents (and had a cuppa, we are British after
all) Michelle and Dave arrived, so we did it all, more presents and more
wrapping paper.

Mark, has done a sterling job this weekend of preparing and cooking the
dinner (although some fairies did peel the vegetables this morning when we
were in bed so thanks to them for that) We managed to get the dinner out in
a speedy fashion between me and Mark, and the whole process was pretty
simple. I even had the dishwasher running after the starters with the first
load of dishes, (I had already done 3 loads earlier in the morning) The
dinner was lovely and again it was a nice time to sit around the table and
laugh about things.

Lawrence thanked mark and myself for doing the dinner, but then also said
how proud he was of me for going through what am going through, and proposed
a toast. This got to me slightly and also got to my dad, so I tried to move
on as swiftly as possible, The Xmas dinner table isn't somewhere to be
dwelling on things like my illness.

Of all the things I wanted today, my illness not being centre stage has been
one of them, I haven't purposely mentioned it, and if people have asked me
to stop or sit down I have just said I am fine and carried on, although I
have at a couple of points today had t just sit and take a breath as I have
had an achy body, which is now becoming a regular occurrence, its just my
body's way of saying "slow down" I think, so I'm just going to have to
listen to what its saying.

Today has been nice as I have (and me and Mark collectively) have received
some lovely gifts from friends and family. We will be saying a personal
thanks to you all in the next few days and will ensure that we enjoy your
gifts. One in particular we will be enjoying at the start of next month,
which will be nice as its the day before my treatment starts again so will
be a nice "take your mind off it" experience.

I received loads of lovely gifts from Mark too, I think the nicest of these
is the Ruby ring. For those that don't know what Ruby signifies is Love, and
as he has already bought me loads of diamonds which signify forever, now he
can say he has given me love forever (mushy isn't it, but its really touched
me)

One thing we have both done today is thonk about memories, I bought Mark an
aftershave, which reminds me of the first few meetings with him, and he
bought me an aftershave of the first aftershave that we bought together.
Sounds daft but its these things that mean more to the two of us than other
gifts to each other, but was also sweet that we both did the same thing.

Its nearly 4am now as we haven't long since come back from Nick and Geoff's,
where we spent this evening, it was nice to let Tanja and Lawrence have time
with Michelle and Dave, and also for us to get out of the office. Nick got
an IPad for Christmas, and now I so want one, I want on a lot, and am sure
Mark does too, as he can play bejewelled on it in a much bigger format. I
will have to wait and see what the sales have to offer to see if I can
replace my laptop. I will see.

Since I started writing this blog about half an hour ago, Mark has been
playing with his Flashes that I got him for his camera. He's like the David
Bailey of Salford now, and has a choice of two Flashes' bith with different
uses, so in the last 30 mins I'm sure he has taken about 1000 pictures of me
and the lounge, I'm starting to feel like Cheryl Cole at the weekend.....

Anyway I'm tired now, and its the sales tomorrow so were off to go buy a
Sofa and a new floor, a VAT free bedroom and a Moben designer Kitchen
(that's all the adverts I have seen anyway).

Would just like to sign off and say I love all my friends and Family and
although I don't say it often, I should. It's been a lovely day and have
really enjoyed it.

Steve xx

Exmas Eve

Well that's it, its tomorrow, the big day when we spend hours looking at
presents that our friends have lovingly picked for us...

This evening has been spent with My mum and dad, Mark's mum and dad and Nick
and Geoff. It was nice just to be around and watch the weather on TV, at
least we don't have to go out tomorrow though....

Tomorrow is going to be a slow start I think, and then it's going to be
mayhem all day, as there is going to be 2 lots of mums 2 lots of dads, me
and Mark two cats and a dog.....

Anyway am tired now so am going to head off, that and Father Christmas wont
come if I don't go to sleep.

Till the big day tomorrow

Little Tired Elf Steve

Christmas Eve - Early Doors

I'm tired.

We have done loads today, Mark has been in the kitchen like Fanny Craddock
all day making Mince Pies and the sort for this evening.

The last of the presents have yet to be cooked and the veg for tomorrow
needs to be prepped, but I can do all that shortly.

I thought I would update now just in case I don't get chance to update
later, at least I have done it.

If I don't update later on, I hope all my readers have a brilliant day
tomorrow and don't get too drunk tonight......

Have a blast whatever your upto.

Christmas Elf Steve xxx

Christmas Eve Eve

Well today has been a mixed bag of things and its certainly made for a
random day.

First off we were woken up by Tanja to tell us that the main water pipe
entering the house had burst and that the water board were going to attend
so we don't need to report it. The result is the stopcock out the front of
our house has burst on the pavement and as a result we now have an ice rink
outside the house. They did attend earlier on but just covered the whole
area in rock salt, which is good really as the flowing water has just washed
it away.....

Today the house cleanup has also commenced, and I have done bits around the
house to help, however I have had a nap this afternoon as I have been tired
and achy today. The house though is almost done and Mark has performed his
magic and the dining table is starting to look fabulous.

All the items I have ordered for Mark have now arrived and are now wrapped
so that's good, I just need to put tags on them and make sure that I have
everything (I even went through the bottom of my wardrobe to make sure I had
everything)

Tomorrow is going to be another early start as mark wants to get all Fanny
Craddock and make some cakes, I fancy making stuff too so will give him a
helping hand. It's then finish laying the table and last bits of tidying and
then everyone will start to arrive. And then its relax time.

Am off to bed now, I'm going to head off with a cup of Chinese tea to work
its wonders whilst I sleep.

Steve

and its all done....

Well apart from the bits we need to do at home, which won't actually take
that long we have done for Christmas.

The last bits of food shopping have just been done and its sat outside in
the car (its -8 so am sure the fresh stuff will be OK)

I'm looking forward to the weekend now as its going to be a fun weekend with
both sets of parents and my sister and brother in law, the day promises to
be fun, and this year I can honestly say I haven't got a clue what presents
I have got.

Tomorrow will be spent tidying up and doing the last few fancy bits round
the house ready for the arrival of everyone on Friday, and then it's the big
day.

On a health noted. I have today started on traditional Chinese Green tea,
now I have been drinking Green Tea for a couple of weeks now but this is the
supermarkets own, the one im drinking isone my mum bought fr me from the
heath food shop and is in leaf form, it tastes much better than the
supermarket stuff (there isn't actually that much taste to it) but its not
processed like the supermarket stuff so I am going to give it a go. There is
a load of benefits that go with it, so it can only help.

The one good side of it is that it detoxifies the body, I have noticed that
my skin is getting better too, so its doing something somewhere at least.

Am off to bed now as my body is aching.

Till tomorrow

Steve

Lazy

There is one word for today and that's Lazy.

We haven't done an awful lot really. Mark has made up the spare room for my
parents this weekend and I threw the vac around the house and loaded the
dishwasher but that was about it.

My brother and Dr Jon came today too so that filled up a big part of the
afternoon. There hasn't been a reason for the laziness from either of us,
its just we have collectively done not a lot, and to be honest its been nice
that we have just both pottered around doing little things.

I made dinner this evening, a good old traditional Lancashire dish Tata Ash
(potato hash to some) and I was going to make it a seasonal dish for a laugh
and put sprouts in it but I forgot.... Anyway we all enjoyed it and my mum
always does love it so that's a good thing.

The plans for Christmas are still going on, and home is almost finished just
a last few things to do and were ready.

Tomorrow were off to do more of the Santa deliveries and then to the
Supermarket for the last few things.

Off to bed now long day of niceness tomorrow, now you know it's not my
nature to be nice lol...

Steve x

A good day

Today has been an easier day and the headaches have now more or less
stopped. I had my medication review this morning and they have decided to
keep me on the steroids for the next 14 days, however I have stated that I
would like to reduce the dosage over the next few weeks ready for coming off
them mid Jan, but I know that I need to do this much slower this time as the
last. Time will tell.

This evening we have done the first part of the Santa Rounds, we went to my
Granny's to drop her presents off, then we went up to Chris and Harold's
with nick and Geoff to do the same there. It's nice doing the Xmas drop off
and collect, but its a shame that we don't see these people as often as we
should do.

The rest of the week is going to be spent doing the last bits of prep for
Xmas prep and dropping off Xmas presents then it's the big day on Saturday,
all sounds dead easy doesn't it really....

Not much else to write today so will sign off till then.

Steve x

Just one of those days

Today has been another of those days where things have just happened around
me, and in all honesty I have just let it, there has been no plans made for
today at all which for once as been really good.

The one thing that we have done today is pop down to the Village as Peggy
Was doing her Xmas show, She said she would be doing it in aid of Christies
Hospital and would love to see us both.

Neither me or Mark have been to the village since my diagnosis, so it was
odd just popping in to say hello and seeing all those familiar faces. Anyway
we didn't stay very long as my body was aching and we came home for a nice
cuppa...

I would like to go out more, but at the moment my body just wouldn't let me
stand the pace, and I would end up having to leave and I would feel guilty
for spoiling the evening for everyone else.

Well tomorrow is Monday again, and I have my Doctors appointment to discuss
my steroids again, I would presume that they will be taking me off them
again slowly, but I hope this time they will do it more gradually as the
last two times has been murder, so only tomorrow will tell.

Anyway it's been a long day and am off to bed see if I can shake these aches
I have.

Steve x

Lazy Day

Well I can honestly say we haven't done much today.

We popped to the wholesalers this morning to get the last few things for
Christmas, why do we spend so much on Christmas its one day, but we still do
it.

Anyway we spent an hour an hour in there and then returned home, shopping
away and we haven't done much since.

This evening friends came round for an hour before they too decided to go
home, and now were just sat watching the TV like its Christmas or
something....

Tomorrow I would like to go see Peggy's Show at the New York New York, as
it's all in aid of Christies Hospital.

So sorry for the short update, but I can't make it up and I'm feeling tired
anyway so will sign off

Steve

Snow and Panic buying

Well the snow is finally here, and from the look of it, its planning to
stay. We've had about 5" since 7pm and its still going, so a white Christmas
is well and truly on the cards.

As a precaution and I'm a Drama Queen, we thought we would pop out to Asda
to get the essentials, Tea coffee bread etc. The amount of stock they are
putting out is amazing, and am glad we don't plan on going there tomorrow as
I'm sure it's going to be bedlam. We managed to get all the stuff we needed
for essentials but still not got anything for Christmas day, so at the
moment were on beans on toast and a chunk of Brie.

On a me side, I'm not feeling to bad now, although am still tired, I did
have an hour's nap this afternoon though and it did make me feel a little
better.

As for tomorrow I plan to do very little. Just relax with Mark, maybe veg in
the lounge and watch cheesy American Christmas movies. I have enough green
tea to sink a battle ship so am OK on that score. The green tea although it
still tastes pants am getting used to it now, and am on a variety so it
keeps me going. If its supposedly helping then I'm willing to give it a go,
and I have noticed that it is forcing a lot of junk out of my body (won't
tell you how I know I just do)

Hopefully the last of the xmas presents and such will arrive, although with
this weather I doubt it, isn't it mad how I can order something from the I
UK and it doesn't arrive yet something from China a few days later and it
arrives, the supplier in the UK has said its because of the weather
conditions, so do the Chinese have different weather in the UK then that
allows their mail through???

Am off to bed now to snuggle up with the old fella, and will wake tomorrow
with an even thicker blanket of snow

Till then snow watchers, don't go out unless you have too.

Steve x

just a quicky

As well as sharing things on Facebook and on my Twitter site I'm going to
share them on here too.

http://www.infi-knit.org.uk/

Its a great way of doing your bit to help the sufferers of cancer. It takes
seconds to do and will mean so much to so many.

Another thing this weekend is the Peggy's charity doo at New York New York
in Manchester it's here usual offensive show, and everyone is guaranteed a
laugh... The whole shebang kicks off at 4pm She's flown in especially from
Spain to do it and its all in aid of Christies Hospital in Manchester

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=134868769899725 for further details

Steve x

Birthday

Today has been Marks birthday and so we went out for a meal, the classy two
that we were we ended up in the Chinese Buffet.... It's not the actual meal
that we enjoyed (although we did eat too much) it was the being together
that we enjoyed.

As for me, I'm slowly getting back to normal, the medication is sort of
sorting itself out, and the headaches are slowly decreasing. I'm still
tired, this is one thing I can't shake no matter what..

Mark enjoyed the birthday present I got him, even though I didn't think he
would, but then again after a title and a star this is actually something he
can touch.

Nothing else to report today as its been a pretty quiet day. More
interesting tomorrow maybe.

Till then

Steve x

Steroids

Well today has been a better day but I can't say it's been one of my best.

I'm still slightly suffering from the headaches caused by me coming off the
steroids, but they are getting better, so that's a good sign, at least the
light-headedness has gone now.

Have had a couple of messages from various people telling me that this is
the hardest time but it will all be over soon and things will settle down
after that so that's good and encouraging.

I managed to sort a load of work emails out this morning for the office,
which made me feel so much better as I can log on tomorrow and not have a
full inbox, that and people were depending on the items being sorted.

Xmas is almost finished now too, Mark is just wrapping the last few things,
he then has to wrap my goodies.

A lot of marks presents I have bought him are from online stores and haven't
arrived yet so am a little worried that I haven't got a lot for I'm if
nothing turns up by the weekend I will be one of those mad idiots who dash
out the week before Xmas.

Mark also took me to the cinema this evening to watch the Narnia film in 3D
(were getting used to this....)

I like our little trips out to the cinema as its complete escapism, and for
the few hours that am there nothing matters, there is no such thing as
cancer, there is no issues and there are no time limits on everything. I
come out and feel refreshed and ready to take on the next challenge, which
is generally the tiredness and the walk back to the car.

This evening two friends came round to do the exchanging of gifts and to see
how we all were. There has been a standing joke between us all that when I
lost my hair due to the Chemo then they would shave their Mary's (work it
out) and that all of Asda would follow suit.

Well for our combined present one of the items was a bag of hair - which
signifies the trimmed Marys.... (you will be pleased to know that its
actually washed hair from the hairdressers) They had also made some "Marys"
to wear, they are basically Santa beards with accessories on them.... Will
post pictures soon. We haven't opened the other gifts apart from the Santa
suits that they got us, we have promised to post pictures of these too.

Thanks ladies I'm sure you're going to cause a giggle on Christmas
morning....

I now need to go and wrap marks birthday present as it's his birthday
tomorrow and I still haven't wrapped his present, I suppose I could do it in
the morning, but it might remind me if do what I have done with his birthday
card.... oh the joys of having a crap short term memory...

Tomorrow is another fun filled day of all sorts, will see what the allsorts
is when it comes but I haven't got anything on my to do list so am doing
well.

Will update again tomorrow

Steve x

My Brains addicted to stroids

Today didn't start too brilliantly, in fact if truth be known it stared
shit....

I woke up with a really sharp headache much worse than yesterday, I felt
sick and generally fuzzy head. Imagine a really bad hangover - the ones
where you vow never to drink again, and that's somewhere close to where I
was. I wasn't well at all, I took my steroid and some pain killers but I
just felt worse. I phoned the Christies hotline and explained and the
outcome is that I have to increase my dosage of Steroids, and be reviewed
tomorrow.

The result of today is I haven't actually done anything, which is actually
the first time since coming out of hospital that my illness has stopped me
being normal.

After taking the additional quantity of the steroid I did start to feel a
little bit better, but it's not really till now that I'm more or less back
to normal.

The Oncologist did say that I would start to feel ill from about week two
after treatment finishes and then again around week 5, and so far they are
right. So can only now sit and wait for week 5 - this is also the time I go
back onto the Chemo, so heaven only knows how am going to feel.

My mum came down this evening for her usual Tuesday visit and dinner

Because of my off day there isn't much else to write about , I'm hoping that
tomorrow I will feel a little more on form

Till then

Steve

Shopping on Steroids...

Well another strange day for me. The headaches have slightly increased and
so as promised I phoned Christies.

I thought it could be something and nothing and would be in relation to my
treatment/side effects but thought it worth checking anyway.

The team I spoke to at the hospital took loads of different details and
suggested that I go back on the Steroids - not what I wanted but they know
best.

Since taking the steroid I have felt much better and haven't had the
Throbbing Head issues, so that's a good thing.

I also went shopping with my mum today in Salford shopping precinct. This
again is another place I can cross off my list of places to go to. Its nice
to go shopping with mum as I used to do this when I was younger and we don't
get chance to go much now.

Mark then came home and we went shopping again, just a few little bits for
Xmas but all sorted now.

Nothing else happened today really. I'm going to have a resting day tomorrow
and if I feel upto it, I'm going to be taking some pictures of costumes for
the website. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=57127533950

The costumes are going pretty well, but need to push it a little more, and
get photographing the hundreds we have on there, and all the accessories and
other paraphernalia as well. The more we get rid of the more we find, eBay
and Facebook will be busy in the next few weeks....

This will all probably change tomorrow though as I forget some of it and
remember about something else...

Till tomorrow

Steve

Trouble Blogging: End of a weekend

Trouble Blogging: End of a weekend: "Well it's been a fun and interesting weekend with lots of random thingsgoing on. Saturday I managed to sleep till 11am, I must have need..."

End of a weekend

Well it's been a fun and interesting weekend with lots of random things
going on.

Saturday I managed to sleep till 11am, I must have needed the sleep,
although I woke up tired, and so I knew that it was the fatigue not the
tiredness. Although if I am occupied doing something then I don't tend to
notice it as much.

Saturday afternoon then was spent finishing the presents wrapping (Mark
wraps and I move things around.....)

Then Saturday evening we were off to see Scissor Sisters, and I presumed
that as they were such a big group it would be bedlam getting into the
Arena, so we went more or less as soon as it opened, and how wrong was I,
the support came on at 7 and was on for half an hour's and then the main
thing was supposed to kick off at *, nope, they were late by about 45 mins
so we were sat in a warm arena on uncomfortable seats waiting for them to
com on.

However in the end the four of us (me, mark Nick and Geoff) all had a great
time. Although I was tired when I got home, notice a theme here?

Sunday was a bit of a nothing day really as neither of us could decide what
to do, so we went out to Swinton shopping centre. We shouldn't have
bothered.... as there was absolutely nothing there. We did manage to spend
£20 though - That's the pound shop for you.

This after however we have had a little bit of excitement. We went to Tesco
in Walkden, casually wandering round not looking for anything we heard a
loud bang then a hissing noise. People started t panic and leave the store,
and on our way out we saw a growing cloud of smoke coming from the freezer
section, there was a growing sense of panic about the place so we did what
any good person should do, is we got in the car and left. Now before you all
start moaning that we could have helped, there was loads of staff around and
the fewer bodies in a situation is better really.

However as soon as we got home we did look it up on the news. It turns out
that it's a suspected gas pipe rupture on the freezers.

That's it for all the excitement.

The down side of the weekend is the headache issue. If I hold my head in a
certain position, my head starts to throb and my vision goes funny and I can
hear my pulse, I Have to stop whatever I'm doing and hold my head level and
forward whilst the blood drains.

It is causing me an issue and will be on the phone tomorrow to Christies
just to confirm. It's probably just my head playing around and responding to
the treatment but best safer than sorry.

And in a large nutshell that's my weekend.

Other than tired, and the headaches it's been an OK weekend, that aching has
subsided slightly though so that's a bonus.

Until tomorrow

Steve

End of the week

Well it's the end of the working week and I can honestly say I'm glad as I
like the house busy at the weekend, people popping in and out etc.

I did pop into the office today as it was Secret Santa, so I said I would go
in for the day, so I popped in for an hour or so, so that we could do that
and I could say hello to the guys and the news guys who I haven't met yet.

Whoever got me the hat for my Secret Santa - thank you, it's lovely, only
one problem with it, it sticks to my head like Velcro because of my short
hair lol....

I did have a bit of a rant though today in town. I was approached by an
undesirable (chav) and asked if I had any spare change. I replied as I often
do, "sorry no I don't" and I genuinely didn't. She said something that I
didn't hear and I left it, she then said I wouldn't know what it's like to
suffer. I had two choices here either to bite my lip and say nothing or say
how I felt.

I simply told her that she was right, and I wouldn't know what it's like to
suffer.. I then removed my hat and said that I had Terminal Brain Cancer, so
no I wouldn't know what suffering is. By this time a number of people were
watching the goings on and as soon as I had finished my rant a woman
applauded me. She did come up to me and say well done for standing up for
myself and asked if I was ok. We did have a laugh as I said the only thing
wrong was that my head was cold, she simply told me to put my hat on.

The chav simply wandered off looked on by a number of people. Like a dog
with its tail between its legs comes to mind.

We thought we were going to get a visit from Nick and Geoff this evening but
from the picture Nick has sent me he has win the battle and they have been
out and bought a real Christmas tree and its up. We are however off to see
Scissor Sisters tomorrow with them so we might see it tomorrow.

Till tomorrow

Steve

Cold

Is it me or is it getting colder?

Its been slightly warmer today with the sun but in the shade it was bitterly
cold. Have had a busy two days yesterday and today I have just had a
multitude of things that I needed to do, they were all things that I
couldn't be bothered doing but I needed to do, so in reality I done myself a
favour getting them all done.

Yesterday I also spent the afternoon with my mum, she was helping me sort
out the little things too, including Marks birthday present, which is a
personal thing not something just from the shop, I hope he likes it.

I was supposed to be going into work today to meet one of our clients, but
one of the gorls in the office who was meeting him too emailed and cancelled
the meeting as she wasn't well and didn't want to pass on the bug. I have
asked them to do this as I wouldn't go into the office if everyone is sat
there sniffling as its something I should avoid especially with the chemo
medication (although this is now over I'm still having the side
effects/benefits) Itsas though the choices have been made for me again, but
one I have asked them to do.

Will pop into the office tomorrow as its Secret Santa day so will pop in for
that and then come home again, it will be nice to get out on my own and also
to visit the office as haven't been in for a few weeks now. I wont be
wearing my wig though, as I am used to the fact I am bald now (although I do
need the top part of my head shaving again) will just keep my hat on in the
office, but if anyone asks I don't mind showing them the scar now, its just
anther part of me.

Nothing else to report today other than the tiredness/fatigue if I sit down
to watch TV I tend to nod off so I keep myself occupied....

Corrie was sad tonight too, two deaths and a wedding and a birth. Who are
the other two, I hope it's not Rita....

Till tomorrow, will update then when I have been to the post office with my
large sack of items to post. Its last day for posting to the rest of the
word, if you want to receive it for Xmas don't forget.

Steve

Oldham

Hello again,
Today has been a good day, and I hate saying that as it sounds so cheesy, but it has.
I got all my chores completed this morning just before my dad arrived to take me up to Oldham. I was going to see my Granny too whilst I was there. She doesn’t know the full extent of my illness but she is aware that I have been ill and I have had an operation on my head. I don’t want to tell her the full extent of my illness as at the age of 86 it would really rock her and would make her very ill, the last thing I want is to make someone else ill.
Anyway I think she knows more than she is letting on but will just have to leave it there for the time being. The fact that she has seen me looking OK and healthy is a bonus too.
This week has been a good week in total but was odd this morning as there was only me in the house when Mark went to work. It’s been a full house all weekend with Jayne and Ray from Norfolk but this morning was just me and the Cats.
Was great to see Jayne and Ray for the weekend as she is a real tonic (I’m sure I have said this before, as she is just a mad hatter) We all went for dinner on Sunday with Nick and Geoff too as they know Jayne and Ray too, it was a good night even though Nick didn’t eat all of his desert.....
Its official I now no longer own my motorbike, as it was sold on Sunday and its actually been transferred with the DVLA, never mind I can have a new one in two years when I beat this illness....
Tomorrow am off shopping with my mum to buy Mark his present for his Birthday and Xmas, its hard to get gifts for two occasions that are so close together, but I have a few ideas.

Mark and myself are then off to the pictures tomorrow night (you got to love Orange Wednesday) so will be a nice chilled night.
Till tomorrow

Steve

clearer.....

Well hello my little blogsters.




Today has been one of those days where everything just works out.



My headaches are subsiding somewhat as I have been drinking normal tea as well as green tea. I'm going to look into taking a Q10 supplement too as these have been recommended to me for providing more energy.



Today I managed to get a load of work done for the office, have been to the post office twice and then it was time for me to go to my yoga class.



Yoga is down at BASIC, and I started today, I’m going to be doing a weekly class after the new year when everything gets back to normal, but till then I will just have a few sessions until then.



Today’s session was more meditation and relaxation than Yoga, but I still felt the benefits. It’s not often that I truly relax, I’m always thinking about something even if its trivial, so ot was nice to completely switch off even for half an hour.



As for the rest of the week and my new routine, it looks like I have quite a lot to fit in. This all calumniates on Friday when I’m going into the office as its Secret Santa/ I'm looking forward to going back to the office as am forgetting the simplest of things, so hopefully in the new year I will be able to go back to the office on a part time basis, and I can give my brain something to remember, and thats the problem, because I’m not using the info that I know im losing it.



Anyway, tomorrow is a new day and I have plans for things to do, and I want to make an early start so am off to bed.



Till tomorrow



Steve x

Mummys boys part 2

Headaches

Well what a confusing couple of days it’s been.
Friday and Saturday were the first days I haven’t taken any medication, and I was expecting to have a slight headache as a result like I said in the last post. I’m on a slight comedown from the Steroids. I wasn’t expecting the headaches to be as bad as they have been, so I have taken another steroid t tide me over and will speak to the doctor on Monday morning.
However I have found that it’s not actually the steroids that are causing me all the problems (although they are part of it)
A number of days ago I gave up drinking tea (the PG Tips kind) and have reverted over to Green Tea, which contains no caffeine at all.
Whilst I have been off work my consumption of tea has rocketed dramatically and I have been drinking almost 10+ cups a day. I then drop all this in one day, o go to caffeine free.
Therefore whilst I have been suffering from withdrawal symptoms of the Steroids and added to this I then go Caffeine cold turkey, I was thinking about this in the car this evening and soon as I got to where we were going and had a pint of coke I started to feel a lot better. A few more cokes and my headache started to lift.
Therefore I’m going to try and come off the steroids first then work on the caffeine but will still be drinking the Green Tea as well.
Other things this weekend, Mark has started to wrap the Christmas present whilst I had a a sleep, yesterday was the first day that I actually felt rotten. I was just so tired, I felt ill and my head was aching like mad, it felt like someone was trying to force my brains out through my eye sockets – now I know why.
Jayne and Ray are still here and they leave tomorrow morning, when I start my week with my new routine, no drugs and no hospital.
Tomorrow I also start my Yoga classes at BASIC.
This is an attempt to stretch my muscles which benefits my fatigue and also help me to relax more.
Will update tomorrow when I am more relaxed and stretched.
Steve

Mummys boys part one

Bit of a jumbled day....

Well this is the first day of no treatment.



It’s been an odd day, as I have lost all my routine. And I could actually eat whenever I liked but its thrown me completely.


I have had a headache today, but I presume that’s all to do with the fact I have also finished my steroids too, and they do cause a comedown effect (not that I have had a drug induced comedown, but watching Emmerdale I know what to expect....) The symptoms should only last a few das hopefully and then I should be back to normal.


One good thing of today is I went for my Aromatherapy Massage at BASIC, it was the most relaxing thing I have done in a long while, and I felt so well afterwards, I’m booked in again in January and will hopefully book a weekly session thereafter, as I do think its beneficial.


Jayne and Ray have also come up from Norfolk for the weekend, which again is nice as it’s nice to have a full house at this time of year, that and Jayne is as mad as a hatter, and is a real tonic.


This weekend is going to be spent chilling out and adding the videos of our past performances to Youtube, as were not likely to be performing for a while and its a shame to have the videos on my computer and only a few people getting to see them. So currently my laptop is burning the TV program that we filmed over 2 years ago, as its now able to be seen in the public domain.


The rest of the weekend is going to be spent chilling out, and I may even lock myself away and do the Meditation DVD which I have said I should do for years, I used to do meditation a couple of years ago and found it beneficial, but then a busy work-life and the performing sort of put an end to it.


I'm turning into a bit of a Hippie at the moment with supplements, herbal tablets and Green tea. The green tea doesn’t taste brilliant (although have found the Grapefruit and lemon one is ok) but its good for me and is a good body clear out. So am between aromatherapy, massage, healthy eating and supplements, and yoga I might grow my hair long (ha ha) and join a commune....


Anyway its late and I’m tired, will have a lay-in in the morning and see how I feel.


Who knows I might make a snowman if we have any more snow.


Steve

Last Day

Well that’s it for the last few weeks of December. Mo more treatment until the first week of January.




I must say I’m glad that its over for the time being as the journey to Christies every day was getting to me and everyone that had to take me. The waiting was also another major factor in adding to the tiredness. But all that’s over now for a while.



The tiredness has been an issue today and I have had to push myself to keep going, although I must admit to having a nap earlier when I had finished tidying one of the bedrooms.



Have made a realisation today, I’m not so bothered by the fact I’m bald any more. I have been to Asda this evening and my head was getting very warm, I even contemplated taking my hat off, it really didn’t bother me.



I didn’t take my hat off as it got cold in the store, but at least it’s not an issue for me anymore.



The whole mirror thing I’m no longer having issues with. I wanted mark to remove the large mirror in our bedroom when I was first diagnosed, but as I don’t look ill I have said it’s not an issue.



Tomorrow will be odd as I don’t have to take my Chemo or go to the hospital and therefore I don’t have timescales to work to like I have for the last six weeks I can eat my lunch whenever please..



Tomorrow I’m also off for a Massage to relieve the fatigue, so hopefully tomorrow I will be nice and relaxed just in time for our friends visit for the weekend.



I'm off to bed now as am knackered



Will update on my first treatment free day tomorrow.



Steve x

One day to go

Well today was the penultimate day of my treatment and I can honestly say that after meeting with the Doctor as I do every Wednesday (she’s actually a leading Oncologist) that I feel very positive.

As usual my bloods are all OK, we have discussed me going back to work in January – although this is only going to be part time at first and will be a phased entry back to work, I can actually see things happening and I'm slowly getting my life back. It’s something I am going to have t work out with my boss and the Oncologist but at least it’s an option.

My Oncologist did ask me all though usual questions and commented that I had done remarkably well to get to this stage of the treatment and still feel as well as I do. The tiredness is quickly becoming part of my day, and am determined not to let it disrupt me. She said that it is more beneficial for me to work through tie fatigue and then have a decent rest rather than semi-vegetating and then resting as well, which is exactly what I have been doing. On a downside to this she has explained that the fatigue tends to get worse towards week 5 after treatment is completed before it gets better.

This is one thing I’m just going to have to put up with. If this is the only real side effect of my treatment then I can’t complain – I have now even stopped thinking about my baldy head as I wear a hat when I go out (especially with the weather as it is) Another good thing she told us today was even though the MRI and CAT scans that are completed tell then a lot of information, however one of the most important factors they look at is the general health of the patient. And considering I’m in good form at the moment, it really did put a smile on my face, and Mark too.
On the way back from the hospital in the snow we had a text from Leon, who normally lives in Israel, but was on a whistle-stop tour of the UK, and his last night he was staying in a hotel in Manchester so that he can be near the airport early tomorrow for his flight.
Was nice to see Leon. We miss his randomness and Leon ways.
Nick and Geoff also came round, which again was nice as I do love a full house and there were many conversations bounding around.

Tomorrows treatment as I have said is the last one in this run. I can’t wait for it all to be over, now it’s not the treatment that’s getting to me it’s the travelling too. Mark has done most of the Christies runs, and I can’t thank him enough for this but my mum and dad have done a couple each and Lawrence has done one too, they can all see how tiring just going that few miles across town, waiting for however long at the hospital and then getting stuck in traffic can be.

If I could turn up for treatment, be in and out and not get stuck in traffic it would a lot easier, but unfortunately it’s not the case, and for the last three days I have had to wait for over an hour and a half because of delays. Suspect that due to the weather this will be the same again tomorrow. Will just have to wait and see.

Anyway were currently wrapping presents (well Mark is I’m writing my Blog) and then I need to look at our webhosting account as we have all lost our emails, and I’m lost without email....
Then am having an early night.

Till tomorrow

Steve