That's how I feel tonight (Tuesday 29th May). I wasn't going to write this post but Jonathan has reminded me that this blog is mine and that I am sharing it with others not writing it for others.
Tonight I have cried for the first time in a long time and not over Steve but in anger and upset about myself, situations around me and the situation I find myself in now.
I am lying in bed in a lovely room in a beautiful hotel but I am so unhappy right now. I feel ungrateful, I know so many would really love to be here in my place and, for me, they would be welcome to it. I didn't want to come on this holiday in from the outset. I tried to refuse many times but, following persistent requests, including calls to my parents I eventually relented. I am angry at myself though for not sticking to my initial decision and declining the invite.
There is not one thing I could say is wrong with the hotel but I just do not want to be here. I have been here a week already though, my flight home can't come soon enough. Being detached from home by no Internet is making it more difficult. I can buy wifi in 30 minute chunks but it's not cheap and it's inconvenient. I do manage to see and speak to Jonathan every evening but, I am not just missing him but I think the fact I don't want to be here is making me miss other things about home too I would even rather be in work and looking forward to the weekend.
Aside from my predicament here is am also frustrated by a few other things but, I keep reminding my self that the passage of time alone will resolve those.
Hopefully I'll have a more positive attitude after some sleep. Who knows?
Bye for now,
Sent from my iPad