Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Angry and upset.

That's how I feel tonight (Tuesday 29th May).  I wasn't going to write this post but Jonathan has reminded me that this blog is mine and that I am sharing it with others not writing it for others.

Tonight I have cried for the first time in a long time and not over Steve but in anger and upset about myself, situations around me  and the situation I find myself in now.

I am lying in bed in a lovely room in a beautiful hotel but I am so unhappy right now.  I feel ungrateful, I know so many would really love to be here in my place and, for me, they would be welcome to it.  I didn't want to come on this holiday in from the outset.  I tried to refuse many times but, following persistent requests, including calls to my parents I eventually relented.  I am angry at myself though for not sticking to my initial decision and declining the invite.  

There is not one thing I could say is wrong with the hotel but I just do not want to be here.  I have been here a week already though, my flight home can't come soon enough.  Being detached from home by no Internet is making it more difficult.  I can buy wifi in 30 minute chunks but it's not cheap and it's inconvenient.  I do manage to see and speak to Jonathan every evening but, I am not just missing him but I think the fact I don't want to be here is making me miss other things about home too I would even rather be in work and looking forward to the weekend.

Aside from my predicament here is am also frustrated by a few other things but, I keep reminding my self that the passage of time alone will resolve those.

Hopefully I'll have a more positive attitude after some sleep.  Who knows?

Bye for now,

Sent from my iPad

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