Difficult

That's what I have decided it is. There are so many on offer, some warm and friendly some not so. Some over grand and some so plain you'd feel like just the next on a long conveyor belt. Then there is the choice as to which nationality you go for. English seems unimaginative, Italian too predictable, Indian or Chinese perhaps not socially acceptable and then there are so many other Europeans on offer too. What am I talking about? Restaurants of course and, over and above that, dining alone. Tonight I have found myself walking around looking for the place that was just busy enough. I don't want empty, I simply do not need the attention but, the same can be said for a busy place, I don't want to be the only single diner in the place, an obvious "Single" I just wanted somewhere with people around where I could sit. I have my iPad and my blog for company so yes, that's why you are getting two updates in one day. I know I am not the first person to dine alone and won't be the last but it is the first time I have been conscious of having to dine alone. Conscious of being a widower and conscious of how much my life has had to change. No matter how much people say, "Stephen is always with you" I still do not have anyone to talk to across this dining table tonight. I am not sure what tomorrow will bring, I might get up early and go out with the camera. Who knows? After my 'wobble' earlier today I have felt more than a little thoughtful. When I got back to the hotel earlier I slept for a while hoping this cloud of grief would lift. It hasn't. hopefully the wine will help. Until next time, M x