Friday, 8 July 2011

A balancing act...

Another missed blog for yesterday..... Sorry.

Well yesterday was another mixed day.  I got up really early, I didn't sleep much on Wednesday night, i went to bed early but my mind would just not switch off.  I was up and about a few times in the night and then awake really early so a pretty unsuccessful sleep.

Yesterday morning i planned to head out to the bank, as I was getting ready though I got a phone call from a friend in Australia.  it was lovely to hear from her, she has been out there a while now and although we chat on facebook occasionally it was really nice to catch up.  She obviously knew about Steve passing away but wanted to chat too.  I felt much happier after speaking to her, she didn't say anything special it was just nice to talk to someone different but familiar, (if that makes sense).

After that I did head out to the bank, well there I was stood at the counter and suddenly got a "waft" of a strange smell, I turned around and it hit me, the smell of wee from the old lady behind me.  I felt sorry for her a little as she was with her granddaughter who was well groomed etc (and in her mid 30's I'd say) so you'd think she would have a word with Granny.

I was asked to take a seat to wait to speak to the right person and the woman in the waiting area with children in tow smelt of poo, (or at least one of them did).  I get that maybe the child's nappy needed changing so go and do it.... eeew it just made me feel sick.  I am not judging and I guess some will take issue with me mentioning it but personal hygiene is not an expensive luxury, it's about respect and self respect, it's just not necessary.

When I got home I busied myself with various things and spent ages on the phone to a friend discussing Steve's legacy.  It motivated me but, tiredness caught up with me and I ended up having to go to bed.

I slept OK last night I guess, I still feel tired this morning but I just got up anyway, I guess theres a fine line between being tired and being lazy and I know if I stay in bed that is (or can be) a slippery slope to depression.  I feel I am at the top of that slope, a bit like sitting atop a triangle.  Sometimes I start to slip down it but I pull myself back up.  I am trying to move away from the edge but it has a sort of magnetic field which drags me back so I teeter on happy and sad for the most part of most days right now, still I guess it is an improvement from being on the side of sad just getting an occasional glimpse of happy....

Well, I need to crack on today, loads to do.  Sorry for the "mystery" re Steve's legacy, some people know what it is, well those who need to know right now do and everyone else will just need to wait until it is complete, or almost complete, to be able to find out more.  I think you will all like it though xxx

Have a good Friday.

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