Thursday, 19 May 2011


Today has been an odd day, my machine hasn't worked properly all day and I
have had various people from the IT department connecting to it to sort it
out, they need to do something as its giving me a headache...

Hopefully it will be sorted tomorrow when I get my new log on details as the
systems have changed, I also get a new key ring too.... woo hoo.

I have had a headache again today but not anything like it has been, two
Ibuprofen and it was gone, I did also have a massage this afternoon at BASIC
which helped me so much today, I just didn't want to get off the table, I
would go for one every day if I could, but that would really interfere with
my working day as I wouldn't get much done.

Also this afternoon we went to a Dying Matters event in Salford. It promised
to be information end of life care, and info different options for the end
of your life. It was odd to say the least, as there was DJ (playing older
peoples type music) and cake, it was like a Tea Party (that was actually the
theme of the event) but to me it wasn't relevant at all.

I know I have been positive through my illness but I also have to be
realistic, and when Mark was sent the information on the event I decided I
would like to go just to see what is available, Mark as usual supported my
decision and we both went along.

Neither of us though felt right being there as it was all old people and all
the exhibitors were aimed at the older people, Mark summed it up below.

"On a slightly different note we attended the "Dying Matters" event today
that I mentioned last week, Steve summed it up perfectly by saying he felt
like a gatecrasher at an old persons "Do". Because there was a free buffet
lunch the oldies were all there, a bus load arrived as we did! The venue
was like a large community room with a smaller room or area to the side
where the buffet was, the oldies were queuing around the room for the grub!
The stalls were very unimaginative, the usual, Age Concern, Marie Curie,
Macmillan, Local Hospice, Chaplains, Crematorium and the NHS. It was all
aimed at the oldies, I think we were the youngest visitors by many decades!
We wanted to speak to someone from a Non Religious background about hosting
a funeral, nothing of the sort there, nothing there seemed relevant to us,
hospice was too far forward to be relevant (strange though how we felt would
have liked to have seen funeral directors there to see how a modern funeral
could look) I am sure you get the impression but when you think of this
against the backdrop of a DJ on the stage playing out those classics,
classics' for the Darby and Joan club I'm sure, I am guessing we only just
missed "Roll out the barrel" and "My old man" in short it was a waste of
time, given half a chance we would have probably run the same event for the
wrinklies but we would have has something much more vibrant for younger
people, dying isn't fun but the funeral should be a celebration of life not
reason to wallow in the self pity of what has been lost but a chance to
reflect on how lucky we have been to have whatever or whoever we have had
the pleasure of for X number of years. The only one piece of info was a
document we got from the NHS people, basically living will type of thing
where we can write in it (whilst we are well) how we would like to be
treated toward the end, e.g. not be taken to hospital, refuse certain
treatments etc, there is lots to consider and I am sure some family members
will disapprove but it's our future, we're in this together, for better or
for worse and unfortunately for some it will perhaps be a realisation that
we are adults and we can do adult things and make adult decisions, mummy's
little boy may always be a mummy's boy but mummy doesn't always know what's
right, you said the same thing on Sunday when you said you have similar
where Andrew will speak up for you, I guess it can be a tough realisation
for parents but all part of life."

The living will is something we all need to do, and am going to bet a copy
for everyone, it's something none of us want to discuss but we should all

One last thing, a friend of ours Mel Bryan has been nominated for another
award (she was the one that won the Big Society Award and went to London to
collect it from No 10)

Well she has been nominated for another award as Britain's Top Real Role
Model. The winning prize is £5000 to nominate to a charity of hr choice.

She has said that if she wins she will nominate this to a charity of my

This is where I am asking you guys to help her out, and vote for her on the
link below (there is also a small blurb from Mel) It takes seconds to do.

To get through to the judging round I need to attract 25 online votes.
Anyone can vote - you just need to go to the link below, register (you only
need to provide an email address and name) and then click the voting button
- the list is alphabetical and I'm under M for Melanie.

It would be great both for Mel and also for the charity of my choice, which
will be a brain tumour charity for obvious reasons. So please vote and pass
it on, the more votes the better.

Am off to bed now as am in the office tomorrow so need to be fresh, that and
I'm really tired after my massage, not tired more deeply relaxed.

Will update tomorrow.


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