Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Another day, another step closer

Well today has been a bit of a mixed bag of a day.

Mark has been in work all day so have been Home Alone.... which although I
have been occupied has lead me to thinking, not something I am good at, at
the best of times but with everything else going on I think about the wrong
things.

I sadly worked out that the 12-18 months prognosis I have given takes me to
March of 2012, that's one month before my 33rd Birthday which really got to
me. As I would like to get to a ripe old age. This on top of other things
has really got me down today, even though I have been putting on a brave
face and carrying on as normal.

By aim then is simple to celebrate my 33rd birthday. I might even throw
myself a party, your all invited.

I really dont want to write any more today as I feel so down, I even burst
into tears earlier with Mark, have now sold a few of my costumes through the
shop, and although I see it as a business transaction, its like selling off
the posetions of a dead relative or friend, something that is such a big
part of me is now nolonger. People have tried to keep me positive about this
but it still hurts to see them go.

Anyway am going to go and try and get some sleep, another day omorrow,
another day im going to sand up and fight.

Positivity

Steve x

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