Monday, 18 October 2010

Back to normality

Well it was back to normal late yesterday and so didn't have the time nor
the energy write a blog. It was just so nice to go away this weekend have no
mobile phone or internet (even though they were there if we needed them -
and I used it briefly on the Saturday) The rest of the time it was switched

I have come back now and Mark has started decorating the small lounge which
to be fair is almost done all the painting and papering is now done, he's
worked bloody hard in there today whilst I have been entertaining guests.

A friend from Israel also came to see me (and other people as well) which
was nice as I haven't seen him in about 2 years.

One thing that struck me today was one of my friends asked me after a fly
comment I made as to how I can stay so positive and almost trivialise the
fact I gave a life limiting illness (I don't think of it as terminal, its
life limiting, it depends how you think about it, and like my Uncle says
Asthma is life limiting, so anything is possible)

My simple response was if I let this thing eat me up, and get to me then it
will make me ill (both physically and mentally) By keeping positive and in
some ways trivialising it then it doesn't get to me. It sounds wrong to say
that I trivialise my illness but to me it's a self defence mechanism. It
would be interesting to find out how other people handle things.

The rest of the week appears to be pretty straight forward with a final
fitting for my mask on Wednesday afternoon and a wig fitting. Then my
treatment starts hopefully on the Friday. The only thing I am not looking
forward to wit the treatment is the chemo sickness. This is something that
not everyone gets but is a common side effect, knowing my luck I will be
sick, so again that's another medication that I will have to take to
counteract the chemo.

All the other treatments have their issues but I know that I have to put up
with these, however sickness is not something I am good with, and I turn
into a right moaning ld goat...

The one issue I have got at the moment is my scar in my head, its itchy as,
people keep telling me this is a good sign of it healing well, I know this I
can feel this, but its driving me wild.

Oh well, must sign off I have eBay to check for random items, ever since I
have been at home I have been trawling eBay for the most random things, and
then watch them to see how much they go for, I have watched everything from
ice machines to CCTV system. I need more things to occupy my time I think.

Steve x

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