Sunday. Day of rest for many but I hoped to have a productive day today so I at least had something to show for my weekend.
I managed to get a little done. It seemed today like the world has conspired against me to stop me. I wanted to get something done though just for my own satisfaction.
Yesterday was a heavy day. My head was full of all sorts yesterday and even though I ventured out it didn't help. I thought some retail therapy may have helped but it didn't. In my usual way though I didn't end up buying things for me but for someone else.
After my afternoon of shopping I felt tired, so much so I ended up going to bed for an hour after which I just sat and read for a while, just finishing off a book I started on holiday. That seems like a very long time ago now and, in some ways it seems like there were two very different people on that holiday to the two lying in this bed right now.
It was pointed out to me this week that I seem to be doing less of the things I used to enjoy. On reflection that's true. There are many reasons for this and yes, perhaps I have felt more melancholy of late which has led to me not wanting to do anything creative at all. That's partly why I wanted to achieve something this weekend.
It's odd because I never remember asking for my life to be this way. I'm not a complicated person. Someone to love who loves me back, a safe and warm home, a job I don't loathe and enough money to put food on the table is all I really want. I don't think it's too much to ask, is it?
I should add that I do have most of those things and the others may take some time but I know I'm on the right path.
I've spent part of tonight reminiscing, it's funny though as the line between actual reality and tales I've heard over the years is quite blurred.
For example, I'm not sure if my earliest memory as a child is mine or a story I have heard relayed by my parents backed up with photos. I have some clear memories of childhood but it's the earliest ones that I sometimes doubt.
I've watched with intrigue tv programmes where people are hypnotised and taken to a previous life. I sometimes wonder what mine was and I there are any similarities in this life or indeed any issues which u bring from a previous life to this.
All in all it's a bit deep and meaningful for this hour on a Sunday so I will bid you Goodnight and will hopefully catch you soon.
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