Yes, this is a second blog because to add it on to my previous one just would not do it justice.
You may have guessed from the title today is anniversary. Not a happy anniversary but memories of happier times with the one person I have loved more than anything or anyone else in the world.
I hope wherever you are Stephen that you are at peace, free from pain and worry and illness. I love you more and more with each passing hour, the pain cuts deeper and my heart feels heavier with each passing day. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, you made every day with you a happy one, even when we disagreed you still managed to make me smile and I have never been able to be annoyed at you for long, your smile, your cheeky look, your sparkly eyes and your tender touch could make any troubles disappear, I wish you were here to do that now.
On this day in 2006 we became one, joined in the eyes of the law, of our family and of our friends. You said it was the happiest day of your life, a life cut short but a life which touched so many. I've lit some candles for you and us tonight. Not a romantic night in but I know you loved our candlelit nights in.
It has been nice to come home today, back to our home. I know we had planned to go away this weekend, just escape, the two of us, similar to how we did last year. I remember this weekend last year, getting away to the countryside, no phone signal, an open log fire and plenty of time to talk. Those are happy memories, not a great time because we already had a hint of what may be, but, you smiled and stayed positive and never gave up. You loved the simple things, a walk in the bracing winds, dodging the puddles or wiping the rain from your glasses, the weather never dampened your spirits or your zest for life and I try to keep that in mind to stay happy for you.
I have noticed this week that Hope is your legacy to me, it is the one thing you have shown me and taught me which will always be with me, no matter how little money I have, how dark the days are or how long the nights are, it will always be there. I saw this "token" on my first day in Cardiff and bought it, I am seeing the hope around me. Hopes for life, for a future and for a new beginning and for that I thank you.
(click here) tonight from this day last year. I was so proud of you then and still am. The sign is still in the house in the same place you decided to put it where it would cheer you up every morning and give you a spark to light the fire that kept you driving forward. I know I will "get there" eventually, in the meantime though I am continuing your blog. You are still an inspiration to many and even within the last few weeks I have had feedback from people who have found your journey an inspiration and comfort to them, in particular your approach to your treatment.
Till we meet again, 831 Pud xxx (Click here)