Well here I am again, just after midnight writing a blog.  Steve used to do the same, sit here late and write a blog before bed as he knew his Mum read most days and she got worried when there was no update.

Today has been busy, I ahve tried to keepcomposed and for the most part I have.  I called in to the doctors this morning to pass funeral details on to our GP, Steve got on well with him and from my visit today it seems the staff there got on well with him too as they were all upset about his passing. 

Then to the post office, you will recall Steve upsetting old dears at the post office with his parcels well, Zak at the post office was upset by Steves passing too and asked that I keep him advised of the arrangements then it was off to the hospital to pass info on the the Macmillan nurse Steve had taken a shine to.  I didn't get to speak to the burse in question but spoke to a member of staff.  Now it is perhaps relevant to mention I had a printedsheet with a picture of steve on and details of the time and date of the funeral, the Macmillan colleague I spoke to looked at the picture and asked, "Is this your brother?"

I was annoyed, I explained he was my partner but again this just highlighted to me how people still have pre-conceived ideas, even in this day and age  where assumptions are made about sexuality about the way you look.  Yeah you guessed it, no featheres or sequins, limp wrists or camp voice today, I just went for the jeans and hoodie destroyed partner look.  That perhaps was my mistake, how could she possibly know without me signposting it for her?  The point is she shouldn't need to know, would she be more quick or less quick getting the info to her colleagues if he was my brother?

Then it was off to BASIC where Steve used to go for his massages, the lady there was upset too and, despite turning up unannounced I managed to get past the old dear on reception who not only said my name wrong despite me repeating it three times but also couldn't comprehend that my partner may be male!

soap box away though these people were just going their jobs but, were they doing them correctly? Should I have to "come out" for every health professional I meet?  Should they just be more educated instead?

I have lots more to write here but I am struggling to stay awake, I am going to take advantage of this and head for bed, maybe tonight I will sleep. Last Tuesday we spent the night at Stephens bedside.  I don't remember the last time I slept well but what I do remember is that it was when steve was there alongside me.