Sunday 10 April 2011

End of the weekend

Well its Sunday night and I'm off to bed early.

It's been a tiring weekend, even though I haven't done that much. The eBay
items are going on thick and fast at the moment in readiness for our life
downsizing. I have been going through a box today that has all birthday and
event cards in for me and Mark. It brings back memories, and is something
that we would like to keep, so that's one box already ready to move.

People are now realising that we mean business when we say we are moving to
a barge, they think were cuckoo - they are probably right but its something
that makes our life a whole lot simpler, so thats what were doing.

My headaches are still around, they are like old friends now that just don't
know when to go home. They longer and bother me in the respect that they are
just there, I don't want to keep taking painkiller but today I have,
although I only take one at a time and that does help.

Hopefully over the next week or so the headaches will slow down and go back
to normal as my body gets used to the reduced steroid levels.

Its two weeks today to my birthday, which I am and am not looking forward
too.

I'm looking forward to it, as it's my birthday (and my mum's too) and I
enjoy my birthday, but I'm also not looking forward to it as it marks a
milestone in my life, milestones are more and more significant at the
moment, especially with the treatment I am getting from the hospital etc.
Even though they have said that the treatment is looking positive and things
are looking good inside my head, the fact is still there and the figures
they have given me are still there. The fact that I am also not through
with the treatment and anything could happen at any time still gets to me
occasionally.

But I'm strong and I plan to plod on for as long as I can, and am looking
forward to my 33rd birthday next year, where I plan on having a much bigger
party, the dates of my birthday fall one month after the "given" prognosis
dates of a GBM so will be a celebration all round - despite the fact I will
be 33, that I cant help I will just have to admit to being old......

Anyway I'm tired now and everyone else is in bed, its times like these when
am sat here, tired, think about things that I think about all this, and the
illness, I also read other peoples stories to see how they cope, some are
good and some are bad, but the one thing that always shines through is the
fight of everyone else, and the support network they have around them, even
if that support network is just one person, its still there and its all that
person needs to keep going.

My support network is brilliant, right from the hospital staff and Macmillan
and my office who have been brilliant through, and then down to my close
network of friends and family, these have been amazing - also stressfull at
times but overall they have been amazing. It has got to a stage now where
things are relatively back to normal in my life - or as normal as they ever
will be again and the support is there if I need it.

My brother who is in the army is of to Italy tomorrow as support for the UK
troops who are dealing with the whole Gadafi fiasco, I'm not one for
politics, but that's what it all comes down too, so will see him now when he
next comes home.

Anyway will sign off now and update tomorrow, who know I may do a lunchtime
update again.

Steve x

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