Yesterday was a bit of a hectic day and we managed to fit a lot in.
We started the day with a trip round the warehouses looking for a new product range that will be revealed soon. Fun and practical is the brief for the product so your going to have to wait till its launch. But everyone is going to want one or multiples of them.....
One part of yesterday I didn't enjoy though was as Mark would put it. "My Wobbly" in the shop. I can't even remember what was said now but it all boils down to the fact I feel like the majority of my choices and decisions have been taken away from me
Mark said his bit, I said my bit and we cleared the air. I shouldn't have had a go at him, but he's the closest person to me and unfortunately has to bear the brunt of my "Wobblys"
Going back to choices and decisions. Some of this cant be helped. I do have to eat at certain times, I do have appointments every day etc these u can't get out of. Its the smaller things like when people tell me I can't do that because am tired, or don't let Stephen do that because he shouldn't be doing it.
Stephen knows when he's tired and will sit down rest. I know my limitations and these are changing every day.
Whilst I am not ill I wish to carry on as normal. Or as normal as my life has become anyway. For example today I have done work for the office, been to the post office, done some chores and crossed off the majority of my to do list. I'm currently writing this whilst waiting in Christies for my treatment, will probably finish it in the car on the way home.
Today has bEen a good and productive day. And because I have been moving I haven't ached as much which again is a good thing.
This evening again is busy. We have friends from southport coming over to say hello and then we get the photo's back from last weeks photo shoot. All this takes time though.
There doesn't appear to be much time for us at the moment and a lot of our time is occupied by other peoples demands. These demands have always been there but we have always had an excuse be it Trouble - were working etc or something along the same lines, and people accepted that too. But now that Trouble has been retired off (albeit temporary as far as I'm concerned) now we haven't got this excuse were finding that a lot more people are demanding our time. and we haven't got an excuse to get out of it. I know that sounds awful its not intended to sound that way.
I understand because of my diagnosis and such that people do want to spend time with me, but this is different to how it was pre cancer. I would like to keep to normal and all these extra visits are out of the norm. I do appreciate the visits though in the same manner.
Anyway on a lighter note...
Mum I want to do a poo at Paul's... This appeared to be the phrase yesterday (its off the glade advert) as most of you will know because of some of my medications I have been unable to go to the loo. Yesterday though everywhere I went - I went if you get my drift.
Anyway will update more later.
Steve x
Sent via the Trouble BlackBerry®
Well, I'm not sure what to say to the end of your post, it's almost made me forget what else you said before it! Congratulations on...well...going ;-)
ReplyDeleteYour post today is like reading about my own life! Eversince I became ill in 2006 people have been telling me what I can/can't do and it has taken over 4 years for me to finally see that most of the time they have been right. My trouble is, I'm as stubborn as they come! On holidays to Scotland Andrew would tell me I couldn't go clambering over the rocks near the beach...oh, couldn't I!? Well, nothing makes a person want to do something more than when they are told they can't! So off to the rocks I went...was it difficult? Yes! Should I have stayed on solid ground? Yes! Are crutches made for rock climbing? No! But, it wasn't that I necessarily wanted to climb the rocks in the first place, it's just as soon as I was told I coudn't I felt yet another small choice and bit of fun was taken away from me...not sure I am making any sense, but, I hope you understand!
I think Mark could do with chatting to Andrew as he has had to bear the brunt of MANY 'wobblys' and endless amounts of me defying his orders over the past few years! I know it's because he cares, and I am so grateful that he does, but, sometimes I just want to be able to make a choice rather than be told what to do.
Again, I think I am rambling so I shall leave my talk about stubborness there! :-)
I hope that you both find a way to balance 'outside life' with 'us' time soon, I am sure you will :-)
Enough from me! Keep smiling :-)
Your BT Buddy
Natalya x