Sporadic updates...

I'm not going to bother apologising; sporadic blogs seem to just be the “norm” at the moment.

Since I wrote last there has been a real mix of feelings, thoughts, emotions and all those other external factors that shape them.

On Thursday I had to go to the Doctors, this time for some jabs, not sure what for, I don’t recall but, I had a reminder from Steve’s diary that they were needed and the docs knew what I needed so that’s all good. Apparently whatever it was I had is now not needed for 20 years, so I suppose it was worth doing.

When I got back from the docs I tried to find something to busy myself, my mind wasn’t in the right place for work so I didn’t log on, I am listening more to myself now and I am getting good at spotting my stress triggers, well, some of them.Instead I got creative and painted a chair, I actually did three.

One is Gold and I have done another two in a rose gold colour, they look ok painted but, here is the pic of “before”...

(sorry I can't find how to rotate it, but you get the idea...)

I didn’t do much else on Thursday. It was good to get busy being creative though, it required very little thought and made me focus on something positive.

On Friday I got up and took a trip out to the warehouse, I just needed a few things for my next creative splurge. When I got back I continued to work on the chair I had started on Friday. It was again a great distraction as I had been feeling a little flat.

I was pleased with the finished look though and have now decided that it will become my new chair for my home office, why shouldn’t it look a little bling? Below is the picture of the “after”,

as I said I was pleased with it and am not really bothered if anyone else likes it. I guess that is a benefit of being “single”, I can do what I want when I want how I want and have nobody else to please but, I know for sure Steve would love the chair too. It’s in our bedroom until I get rid of the current chair I have at my desk.

On Friday evening I got creative making bits of jewellery, just another thing I am enjoying at the moment. Again, it is pure distraction therapy; I got so engrossed in it I was up until after 3am meddling with that.

Yesterday was another odd day. Weekends seem to be, (and since Steve died have always been), very difficult and the hardest parts of the week. I feel more lonely at weekends, even when I am with other people I feel lonely as I just keep feeling like something is missing. I know it is not something, it is someone, but either way that missing feeling is impossible to shake at weekends.

I ventured out in the morning to the fabric shop for inspiration to cover the two rose gold chairs. I saw some nice Chinese fabric but it was not the colour I wanted, it was very nice though.

After spending hours looking at fabric I decided that nothing was right and that I will use the black velvet I already have and I will embroider some design on there to make it different. I will post pictures of those when they are done too.

Last night, after watching the start of Freak Factor, (otherwise known as X Factor), I decided to sort the large spare room. There has been quite a lot of stuff in there until recently which is all making its way to new owners via eBay. I decided I would sort it ready for N coming later this week.

Aside from it being necessary it was a better use of time than sitting in front of freak factor and losing a whole evening.

After that I came to my desk to write my blog. I failed, I got to two paragraphs and I kept yawning so much my eyes were streaming so I gave up and went to bed, (where I promptly spent over an hour on the iPad looking at stuff I have no use for on the internet.

This morning was a lazy one, just spent in front of the computer. A friend called around for a coffee and a chat and now he’s gone I have decided to update you on where I’m at. Whilst doing this I have been inspired to go and finish sorting the spare room too so, that’s where I’m heading.

Till next time,
Mark