Saturday, 6 August 2011

I know I have been lacking in the blog area this week. Perhaps my mind has been am little absent too.  It's not been a significant week, neither significantly good or significantly bad just a collection of days.

That's not meant negatively but maybe neutrally.  That's probably the best explanation for my mood the last week and I am ok with it, it is better than being on the roller coaster.  Don't get me wrong I have had a few 'moments' this week but that's ok.

on Tuesday this week J came and stopped, we went out for lunch and we wandered around the shops, we each bought just one item so hardly a huge spree but it was the first time I have been to a busy shopping area since Steve died so it can be seen as a step forward.

On Wednesday I didn't get up to much, I was going to venture out with the camera and did set off in the car but came home, I just didn't feel like it.

Thursday was again a bit of a quiet day but H came to see me in the eve and we had a good old natter.  Also, if you remember me asking you to say a prayer or send healing thoughts for a friends nephew well it's her nephew.  I am pleased to say he is doing ok, he is not fully recovered but he is out of intensive care so he is heading in the right direction.  He's only 13 so please keep sending all your positive thoughts etc to Luke xxx

Friday was not so bad either, I had an appointment in the afternoon so I got up and had a leisurely morning then went to see G afterwards.  It's not all good there either unfortunately, N's Dad is poorly, he has been for some time but he is in hospital again and the whole family are concerned.  I feel for them a lot as they have seen Steve go through his journey and have watched me struggle with him dying and now they have this on top.  It's not fair but life seldom is, and don't I know it.

Last night I was up until really late, in fact till the early hours of this morning chatting on the phone, it was a good to talk though, we were discussing ideas for raising awareness of brain tumours, I did a couple of pictures this week for #braintumourthursday on twitter, just some pics of Steve but with a hard hitting message.  

They may seem harsh, I had a long think before, during and after I did them but, I decided if they stop someone and make them think then they have done their job and Steve would be pleased to know he has helped raise awareness of this cruel disease, I've recently learned of a few children with the same disease.  It sickens me to know what those families will be going through now and at some point in the future.

Today has not been too bad.  I got up late, not late considering I was awake until after 4am but later than usual.  I showered and went in to town.  I only needed to bank a cheque and post a letter.  The bank was shut and I had missed the last post for today for the letter but it will go on Monday.

I thought about having a look around the shops, I went in and wandered about for a bit but came away empty handed.  I realised there is nothing I need to buy or want to buy so I came home empty handed.

I had a call this afternoon from a friend about something else she has been working on, it will be great news but she has to keep it a secret for now so I will too but, eventually you will know ALL as it really is good news.

This evening I have sat here alone, not doing anything in particular but, as the weekends have been the most difficult bits of my week then I think I am doing ok so far, I'm not on a downer, that's not due to alcohol anaesthetic either as I haven't had any but it is just because I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, I just hope nobody turns it off before I get near the end!

I'm not sure what tomorrow will bring, loads to do but the weather and my motivation when I wake up will no doubt decide for me. Here are a few of the pictures I mentioned though, you might see why I had to debate with myself....

Goodnight xxx Mark xxx

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