A busy week, dance routines and big smiles

Phew, hasn't time gone quickly. It's been a week since I posted last. It's been a great week too.


I know in my previous post I eluded to why I have been very happy of late and that happiness and smileyness has continued. and, I hope it will continue for very much longer too.

Back to last week though, on Tuesday Jonathan invited me to see Steps. I knew it would be a late night but, it seemed even later after being woken at 3am to be told my Dad was being taken to hospital with "Chest pains". He's had a heart attack before so obviously your mind thinks the worse. As it turned out it was an angina attack but still, being woken so early meant I was sapped of energy for Steps.

Before I went I would have insisted that I knew very few of their songs and knew none of their dance routines. By the end of the concert, whilst I could re-confirm I knew none of the dance routines, I knew all of their songs, well at very least all of those they sung in concert.

It was a lovely night and it was fun to see that Jonathan knew all of the routines as well as the words. I watched in near amazement of every perfectly choreographed move and gesture, as I said though it was also fun to see. In part because his energy and enthusiasm was extremely contagious!

My week seemed to be taking a turn for the worse on Wednesday when I received a call from home saying there was water leaking in through the bedroom ceiling so off I went to sort that too. On Thursday I was up and out early for a breakfast meeting, it started at 7.15 which is really not when I function best, I prefer evenings. I had a full day though of meetings and things to sort for work but, fingers crossed, they will all fall in to place later today ready for an event I am working on tomorrow and Wednesday.

Friday was a long day at work, fighting tiredness from the week I struggled to get through the day, so much so that when I got home I dozed off whilst watching the news. After J arrived home we decided to go out and have a few drinks. We headed off into town and had a lovely time. There was no agenda, no plans to meet up with anyone but, we managed to bump into some friends and ended up being out until the early hours of Saturday morning. It was nice not to have an agenda.

Following a late start on Saturday it was nice to see some more friends and then head out for dinner and a browse around the shops before a relaxing night in. I think that has been something we have both enjoyed over recent weeks. The chance to relax with no agenda or timescale to work to.

On Sunday we had another lazy morning but then called to visit family, and friends before heading into Manchester to attend a party. Steve's Mum got to meet Jonathan along with a few other friends too, so again it was just nice to be able to spend time together with no agenda. We ended up snuggling on the sofa again last night with a bottle of wine and a film before a reasonable early night. I was up for 5.30 this morning so it wasn't a late night.

I think, in part, that’s what has been nice about the past few weeks, the chance to sit, relax and do very little other than being happy in the company of someone that makes you smile. It sounds sickly sweet, I suppose it is, but it's still been nice. We've made each other happy and I hope it continues for a very long time to come. There are still a lot of things to sort for us both but those will sort themselves out in time, for now we're just enjoying life.

Well, that’s about all my news for now, I'm off to sort a few more things before I dash off to collect some things from a supplier for work so I will write soon, I hope you've had or are having a lovely day wherever you are and whatever you're up to.

Xx M xX

A half week update

You seem to be getting updates every few days now.  I will eventually get back in to the swing of it I guess.  Lets start with Thursday. Firstly the same day last year had been Steves first visit to Christies hospital. Here is his blog, click here I remember the visit and I remember how nervous he was, I was too but I kept him calm.  The hospital is quite pleasant really, not like a general hospital, it felt more friendly.  Steve just accepted everything that was told to him but, on this visit we were also asked about "harvesting sperm" just in case Steve wanted children after his treatment.   We explained that gays have still not evolved into child bearing creatures, the nurse giggled and, although we understood she was asking a serious question we politely told her that children had never been a consideration for us.   Anyway, this Thursday as I said I went to see Top Hat with my Mum.  It was a good show.  Not the same as a musical but really good and Tom Chambers who was in Come Dancing played the male lead.  Top Hat was filmed in 1935 and starred Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, a classic black and White film.  Apart from anything else it was nice to go out with my Mum. Friday was an ok sort of day.  Work was  busy and stressful, I am conscious that my attention span is still less than it used to be and constant distractions from people in the office and others coming in and out of the office only distract me more so all in all it is annoying me.  I guess I will get back to how I was eventually. On the same day last year Steve had been to have the first part of his mask made for his radiotherapy treatment.  He was nervous about it as he was a little claustrophobic but I was there with him in the room which made him feel more relaxed and afterwards he said it hadn't been anywhere near as bad as he feared it might have been, see what he said click here http://troubleblogging.blogspot.com/2010/10/another-day-over.html Friday evening I popped to the shops, I needed to collect a gift I had order for my Sister for Christmas but when I got there it had not arrived.  I called the order line to check on dispatch date and was told it had been delivered and signed for at my home address!  There was me collecting from store and they had sent it to home.  It was there when I got in.  There's not a lot of stuff to buy now for Xmas which is good.  I might start wrapping soon... Woo! I spent Friday evening curled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine.  It was nice to chill but of course it's then that I miss having Steve around to snuggle up to. Saturday was a busy day.  I got up and relaxed for a bit then went to do my ironing ready for my next gay road trip.  As I'm travelling with friends and they have quite a small car I needed to pack smart and take as little as possible.  I think I managed ok. In the afternoon I got showered and then went out to see another friend I have not seen for some time.  It was good to catch up.  He's due to move soon so he took me to see the new place too.  It looks nice, it's a 1 bed flat but is a really good size and looks like it's in a nice quiet area.  I'll see him again when I get back. On this day last year Steve had been to Christies for an MRI scan.  I had a meeting I couldn't get out of with a friend about a bid she was submitting.  I met Steve later in the day, I remember the feeling of relief seeing him after he had been out alone for the day.  I would never have worried before but he had never had Cancer before.  Here's his blog http://troubleblogging.blogspot.com/2010/10/today-has-been-good-day.html It was tough for me to adjust to the realisation I couldn't wrap Steve in cotton wool and protect him.  I am not sure he ever realised how tough it was to do but I did it.  I hope he didn't notice how much i worried, if he did though he didn't let on.  I vehemently defended his independence when others told him he can't or shouldn't and I know he did appreciate that.  He wanted to live his life as normal as possible, that was truly inspirational to me and many others. Last night, after visiting my friend I popped to the supermarket and picked up a few bits before heading home.  I made a delicious meal and supped a bottle of wine watching X  Factor and meddling with my iPad.  I trundled off to bed at a reasonable time, well, just before 1am.   This morning I got up, packed my bag, bundled my eBay stuff ready to go tomorrow, got ready, had breakfast and waited to be collected.  We set off around 10.30 for our big gay road trip to Wales. Steve and I booked this trip in February for us and two friends.  It was a gift for them for birthday and wedding anniversary, we are staying in the centre of Cardiff for 5 nights and head home on Friday 14th.  For Steve and I it was a chance to be tourists as well as for me to meet up with some old friends. The reason we wanted to head home on 14th was because it is our wedding anniversary.  This year would have been our 5th.  We were planning on booking in to a hotel nearer to home for 14th and 15th so we had some time out alone.... Instead I will just be alone. This is the last trip I need to make that Steve and I had planned together.  The only other things I still have left to do that were planned with Steve is wrap and deliver the Christmas presents we had already bought.  Steve never stopped looking forward and planning for our future, he and we lived every minute of his last nine months from diagnosis to death to the best we could. I have read Steve's blog again this morning from this day last year, t seems we had a lie in last year, not this year though, here's what he had to say about this day last year, http://troubleblogging.blogspot.com/2010/10/sleeping-in.html Right now I'm sat in the car typing this.  I like not driving, it means I can make more use of my travel time!  Hope to catch you soon, Mark x